It looks like for the first time in quite a while (maybe since 2001?), I won’t be playing fantasy football this year. The main reason is just that I’m finding better, or at least more important, uses for my time these days. A secondary reason is that I just haven’t kept up with the comings and goings this past off-season (L.T. is still a Charger, right?), and between work, planning a trip to England, and preparing an application for an online master’s program, I really just don’t feel the motivation to do catch-up research at this point, with the season only a couple weeks away.

I’ve done fairly well in fantasy football in the past. I usually put together high-scoring teams, and I’ve won a couple league championships, including my initial exposure to fantasy football in a cut-throat league where people paid $60 to play and would push your mother in front of a moving vehicle if she stood in their way of picking up somebody’s third-string tailback who might sniff the field that week because the starter is listed as questionable. I do enjoy tweaking my lineups and scouring the waiver wires for hidden gems, but to do that well requires way more time for research than I’m willing to dedicate to it these days. I’m not the type to start a team and then do a half-assed job managing it, and the thought of digging through mountains of stats to decide which team’s backup tight end is a better waiver-wire pickup just makes me cringe right now.

Finding time to do research wasn’t a problem when I worked in a newspaper’s sports department, since I was blitzed with more NFL minutiae than I cared to read every day. Since leaving newspapers, however, my interest in sports has plummeted. I’ve found that I’ve watched a lot more of — and find much more enjoyment in — the sports I really care about (basically UNC basketball), and much, much less of everything else, and I can’t say I’m sorry about that. I haven’t watched a baseball game in years. NASCAR? Yeah right! The NBA? What’s that? Even the NFL, which was probably my second favorite sports-viewing option before, only managed to pull me to the TV for short stretches of a couple games last year. Even college basketball, which flows in my blood given my UNC alum status, has struggled for my attention. Outside of UNC games, I’ve watched maybe a handful of contests the last couple years. I turned on the national championship game this past April just in time to see Butler’s last shot barely miss, and immediately turned it off again.

So I’ll be taking a break from fantasy football this year. I’m sure I’ll miss it at some point, just not as much as I would have before, and I definitely won’t miss having to get up early on Sundays to check the injury report.

The Falcons’ defense roughed up Terrell Owens and scored a bunch of points for me. Nice!

I’ve barely kept up with football this weekend, what with all the holiday travels and family gatherings. However, Sunday brought me some post-Christmas cheers as The Thamesmen have jumped out to an insurmountable lead in the league championship game. My opponent still has Ryan Longwell left in the Monday night game, but I have Adrian Peterson and a 40-plus-point lead. It’ll be the first time I’ve won this league in the five seasons I’ve played in it, which seems long overdue since I almost always put together one of the highest-scoring teams in the league. Actually, this year’s squad was underachieving in the second half of the season, closing the regular season on a three-game skid before pulling it together for the playoffs. Tom Brady (267 yards, 4 TDs) played like the elite quarterback I expected when I drafted him but saw so little of for much of the season. I also got a big 21 points from the Falcons defense, a waiver wire pickup this week that came through with three turnovers and a fumble return for a touchdown, reaffirming my aversion for not drafting a defense until very late in the draft and just playing the matchup game late in the season. Throw in touchdowns from Antonio Gates and Desean Jackson, a good yardage game by Ray Rice (141 rushing yards), and good defensive performances by Julius Peppers and Lamarr Woodley, another waiver-wire pickup this week, and I’ve got one hand on the league trophy (if there was one).

My other team, the Outlaws of the Marsh, didn’t fare so well in the consolation semifinals of its league, getting stomped by 31 points. I got solid games from Philip Rivers (264 yards, 2 TDs), Ray Rice, Antonio Gates, and Patrick Willis, but once again, the team just didn’t score enough touchdowns. The wideouts, after a strong showing last week, let me down again as Derrick Mason (77 yards) and Chris Chambers (34 yards) combined for just five points. Rashard Mendenhall (36 rushing yards) did find the end zone, but that was about all he did. Dallas Clark couldn’t find the end zone after his recent scoring frenzy, thanks in part to the Colts sitting Peyton Manning in the second half. The Outlaws’ season is still not over, however, as they have a seventh-place game next week. Woo hoo!

Week 16 Highs and Lows

• One of the reasons the Outlaws didn’t have enough fire power this week was the absence of DeAngelo Williams, who went down earl in the previous week’s game with a twisted ankle. In his place, Jonathan Stewart (206 rushing yards, TD) has run for 315 yards and scored three TDs in two games — production the Outlaws could’ve used in their league playoffs. Stewart’s performance probably also casts more questions about how the Panthers’ backfield shuffle will look next season, since it makes Williams look a bit more expendable.
• Ok, this is where I apologize for the mean things I said about Jerome Harrison last week. I didn’t think he could have another strong game, but he did — 39 carries, 148 yards, TD — albeit against the Raiders. Now, I bet he can’t do it three weeks in a row.
• Donovan McNabb (322 yards passing, 3 TDs, INT) seems to be heating up at the right time for the Eagles and his fantasy owners. He has thrown six TDs in the last three games and gone over 300 yards in two of those outings. In the one game in which he didn’t throw multiple touchdown passes, he made up for it by running one in.
• My experience with The Thamesmen this season has shown me that you can never have too many wide receivers on your roster. I stockpiled wideouts in the draft and through waiver-wire pickups during the season and needed every one of them. I started the year with Calvin Johnson and Santonio Holmes — the first two WRs I drafted — as my starters. Then, at one point or another, I started: Donald Driver, Mike Sims-Walker, Sydney Rice, Desean Jackson, and Vincent Jackson. It made for lineup headaches every week, but by the end of the season, it was definitely good to have those options as I was able to rotate back to the two hottest guys.
• The Saints are looking like a team running out of gas. It’s one thing to lose to the Cowboys, but now to the Bucs? And the offense has not been sharp, scoring a season-low 17 points in back-to-back games. Even though they have homefield advantage to play for next week, they’ll be facing a resurgent Panthers squad that dismantled the Giants on Sunday, so it could be another rough outing.
• Speaking of resurgent, how about LaDainian Tomlinson’s fantasy value? He has reached the end zone in six of his last seven games, which include three 2-TD outings. On the season, he has 12 TDs, nine of which have come in the last seven weeks. It’s not like he’s having a spectacular second half of the season, though. He has cracked 70 yards rushing only twice in this seven-week span and averaged better than 4 yards a carry in only one game. The Chargers just seem determined to use him more in goal-line situations.

After weeks of unproductive numbers, Vincent Jackson (83) finally found the end zone again.

If the old adage that it’s hard to beat a team three times in a season is true, then it must be equally hard to lose to a team three times in a season. Fortunately, that held true for The Thamesmen in the first round of the fantasy football playoffs this week. After ending the regular season on a three-game skid, The Thamesmen finally pulled it together against a team that they lost to twice during the season. It helped that Drew Brees, my opponent’s starting quarterback, put up a dud for once, mustering only three points. It’s a good thing, too, because The Thamesmen’s QB, Tom Brady, didn’t exactly tear it up as he posted a paltry seven points. However, a stellar day at wide receiver by the Jackson Two — Vincent (108 yards, 2 TDs) and Desean (140 yards, 1 TD) — led a balanced effort from the rest of the lineup. Adrian Peterson and Antonio Gates each chipped in a TD, and I even got 11.5 points from the Houston defense. I’m up by 28 points, so unless Lawrence Tynes and Osi Umenyiora both have career games tonight for my opponent, I’m going to the title game.

My other team, Outlaws of the Marsh, was not so fortunate in its league’s postseason. I actually made all the right lineup moves this week and even got great production from my wideouts, which had been the Outlaws’ Achilles heel all season. I got double figures from Derrick Mason (87 yards, TD) and Chris Chambers (114 yards, TD), not to mention good games by Philip Rivers (308 yards, 3 TDs), Dallas Clark (95 yards, 2 TDs), and Rashard Mendenhall (111 total yards, TD). My opponent was putting up points, too, but I was still in good position to pull out a win until DeAngelo Williams tweaked his ankle in the Sunday night game, departing for the night without putting up a single fantasy point. It went downhill from there, as I watched Adrian Peterson and Steve Smith find the end zone for my opponent while cursing Jonathan Stewart for racking up the yards and TDs that should have rightfully been Williams’ (and mine). It all added up to an eight-point loss, ending my reign as the defending league champion. Oh well. I won a bunch of games and put up some respectable point totals despite having a crappy receiving corps. It was a solid season.

Week 15 Highs and Lows

Brett Favre’s December magic the last couple seasons has been a disappearing act.

• It sure looks like Brett Favre is going through another late-season swoon. Last season, he threw two TDs and nine interceptions in the Jets’ final five games after a strong start. This year, he has thrown four interceptions and just three TDs in his last three games after putting up 24 TDs and just three INTs in the first 11 games. It doesn’t help that he hasn’t had Percy Harvin at full strength the last couple weeks.
• Matt Cassel had been on the skids ever since I sort of praised him as a viable fantasy starter a few weeks back, having thrown seven INTs and just one TD in three games. He got the cure-all on Sunday — the Cleveland Browns. The Chiefs lost, but Cassel threw for a healthy 331 yards and two TDs. Like I said before, he really is a feast-or-famine guy.
• Somebody explain to me how Ben Roethlisberger can throw three touchdown passes and have none of them go to Hines Ward, Santonio Holmes, or Heath Miller?
• Don’t anoint him the starter in Carolina for next season yet, but Matt Moore sure made a fine case to stay the starter the rest of the season with his 299-yard, 3-TD performance against a tough Vikings defense. Again, the Panthers’ offense is actually pretty decent when its quarterback isn’t throwing the ball into the ground or into opponents’ arms. Jake Delhomme, pack your bags.

Jerome Harrison’s day by the numbers: Rushing yards — 286. Touchdowns — 3. Fantasy impact — 0.
• Really, did anybody see Jerome Harrison’s ridiculous 286-yard, 3-TD game coming? Those 286 yards were only 15 fewer than what he had the entire season going into Sunday’s game, and those three TDs were three more than what he had going in. In his previous five games, he had average 2.3, 3.8, 1.5, 3.5, and 1.3 yards per carry, respectively. And that’s how one of the greatest rushing days in league history became one of the biggest wasted efforts in fantasy football history.
• Jay Cutler’s season is approaching Madden-level of ridiculousness. Before this season, I thought it was only possible for a quarterback to throw 30 interceptions in a season in a video game, but Cutler is on track to prove me wrong. With three more INTs on Sunday, he now has 25 on the year. His last two opponents, the Vikings and Lions, aren’t particularly fearsome against the pass, but Cutler has been throwing picks against just about everybody.

It was one of those dreaded weeks where I got a big effort from a player in one league and played against him in the other.

It was the last weekend of the fantasy football regular season in my leagues, and I suffered the smite of the double-edged sword known as Dallas Clark. The Colts tight end caught three TDs for one of my teams, the Outlaws of the Marsh, and against the other (The Thamesmen). That pretty much lifted the Outlaws to a much-needed victory while keeping The Thamesmen in their funk, as a third straight loss cost them the No. 1 seed in the playoffs. The good news is that the team I lost to happens to belong to my wife, who will most likely jump up into the final playoff spot with her win, so I guess Clark was trying to preserve my marital bliss. So as it stands, it looks like the Outlaws will be a fourth seed in the playoffs, while The Thamesmen will have to settle for the No. 2 seed in their league.

Aside from Clark’s big day, the Outlaws also got big efforts from Ray Rice (219 total yards, TD) and Rob Bironas (19 fantasy points). That trio pretty much lifted the team to victory, overcoming subpar days from Philip Rivers, DeAngelo Williams, and Rashard Mendenhall and a typical day from one of my wide receivers (Jerricho Cotchery: 1 catch, 12 yards). The Thamesmen, meanwhile, were again done in by another so-so game from Tom Brady (192 yards, 1 TD, 1 INT). That squandered a strong effort from Adrian Peterson (97 yards, 2 TDs). It also didn’t help that I left Ray Rice on the bench in this league, along with Desean Jackson (178 receiving yards, 2 TDs), Ryan Grant (132 rushing yards, 2 TDs), and Vincent Jackson (120 receiving yards). I really, really need to add at least one more W/R/T slot to the starting lineup for this league next year. There are too many good players just going to waste on teams’ benches (well, at least my team’s bench).

Week 14 Highs and Lows

• After a strong start to the season, Mike Sims-Walker has been slowed by injuries and poor play the last few weeks. He has 53 catches for 758 yards and 6 TDs on the season, but has had only six catches for 64 yards and no TDs the last three games. That decline has been a key reason for the Outlaws’ recent wide receiver woes.

With a string of solid efforts since taking over for the departed Larry Johnson, Jamaal Charles might be a name worth keeping in mind in next year’s draft.
• The joyride for Chris Chambers might be over in Kansas City now that defenses have realized they need to actually defend him, but fill-in RB Jamaal Charles keeps rolling. He had his biggest day yet since taking over for the released Larry Johnson, rumbling for 143 yards and finding the end zone for the third straight game. And this is despite the fact that his team lost and managed only 10 points total.
• Hakeem Nicks hadn’t made a whole lot of noise fantasy-wise since his four-game TD streak in the first half of the season, but he’s quietly putting together a very nice rookie season. He’s on pace for more than 800 yards and already has six TDs, including one in each of the last two games. He also had his second 100-yard game Sunday. Three of his TDs have been 54 yards or longer, and he’s averaging 18 yards a grab. Another Desean Jackson, perhaps?

Watching opposing DBs run the other way after picking off one of his passes has become a routine for Josh Freeman (5).
• Bucs QB Josh Freeman has oscillated between unexpectedly good and ridiculously bad in his outings. He threw three TDs against the Packers in his debut as a starter and tossed two against the Falcons. In his other four starts, however, he has thrown 12 interceptions and just two TDs. From a fantasy perspective, it’s at least good that the Bucs are letting him keep airing it out despite his woes, since that means (theoretically) more yards for owners of Bucs receivers (and if you are one of them, god help you) and more chances for points for owners of defenses facing the Bucs.
• A study in contrast: While Broncos QB Kyle Orton sent 21 of his 29 completions Sunday in the direction of Brandon Marshall, Rams QB Keith Null spread his 27 completions among nine receivers, which one usually accomplishes only in Madden football games. Heck, Null even completed five passes to three Titans defenders.

When your team defense can’t stop the Browns, it doesn’t bode well for your week in fantasy football.

The good news is that both of my teams have clinched playoff spots in their respective leagues. The bad news is that they’ve both picked a bad time to start going into a tailspin. For the second week in a row, I went 0-2. Last week, it was Drew Brees going bonkers again to foil both of my squads (by 1 point in one league). This week, it’s an all-around outbreak of suck that doomed my teams. The Outlaws of the Marsh will likely drop from second to fourth in the standings unless Ray Rice somehow delivers 20 points tonight (which he has done once this season). The main culprit for the team’s probable downfall is, once again, weak receiver play. Mike Sims-Walker followed up the previous week’s 2-point stinker with an even more putrid 0-point outing (1 catch, 12 yards) despite the fact that his quarterback, David Garrard, put up a relatively healthy 238 yards and 2 TDs. Meanwhile, Chris Chambers, who played his way into the Outlaws’ starting lineup this week after a string of productive outings since joining the Chiefs, promptly played himself back to the bench with a 2-catch, 11-yard, 0-point effort. Throw in subpar efforts by four of my five individual defensive players, including the usually reliable James Harrison, and the Outlaws are looking at their second straight loss and dropping to 8-5.

In my other league, the Thamesmen fared even worse, mustering only 59 points. Outside of Tom Brady and Rashard Mendenhall, no one else found the end zone. I correctly benched Vince Jackson (2 catches, 54 yards), but incorrectly started Sims-Walker and Sidney Rice (72 yards) while leaving Calvin Johnson (123 yards, TD) and Santonio Holmes (149 yards, TD) on the bench. And of course Joseph Addai immediately went back to scoring touchdowns as soon as I yanked him from my starting lineup, while can’t-bench guy Adrian Peterson failed to reach double digits in points for the third straight week and barely made it into double digits in rushing yards (13 carries, 19 yards). Even my kicker (Stephen Gostkowski) and defense (Chargers) stunk, combining for just over seven points. At 9-4, the Thamesmen are still in first place, but what was once a comfortable lead has shrunk to just one game with one week left in the regular fantasy season.

Week 13 Highs and Lows

• It didn’t help the Outlaws that their first-round pick, DeAngelo Williams, missed this week’s game against the Bucs with a bum ankle. In his place, Jonathan Stewart ran for 120 yards (best in the league this week) and a touchdown. See what happens when your quarterback isn’t throwing the ball to the other team on every other possession?
• Is Calvin Johnson finally showing signs of fantasy viability after being injured and unproductive most of the season? He has caught a TD in three straight weeks and has gone over 100 yards in two of those games. It’s just too bad that he’s got the Ravens next week.
• Sidney Rice leads the Vikings in receptions and receiving yards, but it’s Percy Harvin who has emerged as the more productive fantasy player in recent weeks. Harvin has had at least 79 yards and scored a touchdown in four of his last five games. Rice, meanwhile, is posting nice yardage totals but has found the end zone in only one game since Week 5 — a two-TD outing a couple weeks ago. For a guy who has already gone over 1,000 yards on the season, he really should have a couple more scores, but the emergence of Harvin and the TD vultury of tight end Visanthe Shiancoe (9 TDs this season) have hurt Rice in that department.

Timing is everything, and Bruce Gradkowski picked a lousy time to start putting up decent fantasy numbers.
• Never thought I’d praise the play of the Raiders’ starting quarterback this season, but Bruce Gradkowski has actually turned that offense into a somewhat functional unit. In the last three weeks he has six TD passes and just one interception — that’s better than what Tom Brady has done in that span — and he had an inexplicable 300-yard day against the Steelers on Sunday. Of course, the key word in that sentence is “inexplicable”, as in “wasted” since Gradkowski likely was on the bench if he was on anybody’s roster at all. If this had come earlier in the season, he might be worth a look, but he’s got the Redskins (No. 4 in the league against the pass) and the Broncos (No. 2 against the pass) coming up. He does have a weak Cleveland team in Week 16, but if you actually make it that far in your fantasy playoffs — likely the championship game — are you really going to start the Raiders’ quarterback?
• Quick, who are the NFL co-leaders in touchdown receptions? You probably would have guessed Larry Fitzgerald, but I bet you won’t have said Vernon Davis on your first try. The 49ers tight end is having the breakout season that has been long overdue. He has either gone over 100 yards or found the end zone in eight of the last 10 games.

Imagine if Steven Jackson actually played for an NFL team.
• You know that old adage about how playing on crappy teams hurt running backs’ production because their teams have to throw a lot while playing from behind? Well, explain this: Steven Jackson plays for the 1-11 Rams, who have the worst offense in the league and get outscored by an average of 26-11 per game. Yet he is second in the league in rushing yards and has averaged 121 yards on the ground, with four TDs, in the last six games. Maurice Jones-Drew, who leads the league with 13 TD runs, plays for a Jaguars team that gets outscored 22-18 per game. DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart have combined for 14 TD runs while playing for the god-awful Panthers.
• Talk about a rapid rebirth. Laurence Maroney didn’t crack 32 yards in a game through the first five weeks and got double-digit carries only once, but then proceeded to find the end zone in six straight weeks until that streak ended Sunday. His eight rushing TDs actually have him in the top 10 in the league.

One of my teams opened its season by running into a six-TD performance by Drew Brees, and the Saints quarterback is in position to ruin another week for me tonight, as both of my teams are leading but my opponents in both leagues have Brees left up their sleeves, and a repeat of that six-TD explosion would spell trouble for both of my teams.

The Outlaws of the Marsh are holding a 30-point lead despite another subpar week. In fact, the only non-QB in the lineup to find the end zone for the Outlaws this week was tight end Dallas Clark. Normally reliable DeAngelo Williams had his worst game since Week 5, managing just 50 total yards, and Ray Rice and Rashard Mendenhall put up some nice yardage but no touchdowns. The wide receiver position was just flat-out ugly, as Jerricho Cotchery and Mike Sims-Walker combined for just 58 yards, or two fantasy points. There were plenty of points left on the bench this week in Antonio Gates (118 yards, 2 TDs), Chris Chambers (70 yards, TD), and Derrick Mason (62 yards, TD). Yet, thanks to the fact that my opponent was starting the likes of Nate Burleson and Rock Cartwright, I have a healthy lead and still have Roman Harper left to counter Brees.

The Thamesmen, on the other hand, are in a much tighter game, up by less than a point and facing Brees plus the Saints defense, Laurence Maroney, and DL Will Smith. Fortunately, I do have Tom Brady and Stephen Gostkowski left to give me at least a fighting chance. It doesn’t help that my opponent got more than 24 points — 24! — from Charles Woodson alone on Thanksgiving, or that I left Donald Driver’s 142-yard, 1-TD outing on the bench for another disappointing day by Vincent Jackson (27 yards), or that Joseph Addai picked the one week I plugged him into the lineup ahead of Ray Rice to end his touchdown streak. Thank goodness I started Antonio Gates in this league and reaped the reward.

Week 12 Highs and Lows

Vincent Jackson after a catch — an suddenly rare act for him.

• I’m going to rant just a tad more about Vincent Jackson’s funk. He hasn’t sniffed a 100-yard outing in a month and hasn’t found the end zone in three games. His last three games have been atrocious for a guy who was looking like a must-start through nine weeks. In Weeks 10-12, he has a TOTAL of seven catches for 93 yards. That’s after averaging five catches and 90 yards and scoring seven TDs in the eight games before that. This three-game funk coincides with the Chargers’ renewed commitment to the run, even though LaDainian Tomlinson still doesn’t look like his 2007 self. In the last three games, Tomlinson has averaged four more carries, 20 more yards, and scored five times.
• Who would’ve thought that going to the Bengals would give your career a boost, but that’s what happened with Larry Johnson. After getting cut by the Chiefs and scooped up by the suddenly mighty Bengals, Johnson had his best game since Week 16 of last season, running for 107 yards. Of course, it did come against the Browns, so maybe you should take 25 percent off that figure. Johnson would be a hot pickup if not for the fact that Cedric Benson is assured of returning to the starting lineup upon his return.
• If you need help at RB, the successor to Johnson in KC, Jamaal Charles, has shown himself to be a viable pickup. He has run for 103, 58, and 93 yards the last three games, scoring twice, and he’s averaging a pretty gawdy 5.2 yards a carry on the season.
• Ray Rice and Rashard Mendenhall both impressed me Sunday night. Considering they were going up against the league’s No. 1 (Steelers) and No. 6 (Ravens) run defenses, you won’t have expected a whole lot, but both performed at or above their average this season. Rice continued his terrifice all-around play with 88 yards on the ground and 67 through the air, while Mendenhall grounded out 95 yards and added 22 yards receiving.
• I know I’m jinxing myself for writing this, but I think Chris Chambers might be going into my starting lineup next week. In four games since joining the Chiefs, he has averaged 79 yards and found the end zone three times. He has been able to deliver at least one big play per game. You know the Chiefs will throw a lot since they are usually playing from behind, and with Dwayne Bowe suspended, Chambers has quickly established himself as Matt Cassel’s big-play guy.

Just in case writing about T.O. doing well isn’t enough to jinx him, here’s a picture.

• I know I’ve bad-mouthed Terrell Owens a lot, and I still refuse to have him on my fantasy team, but I’ll give credit where credit’s due. Something seems to have clicked for Owens in the last three games. After averaging 35 yards through the first eight games, he has average 126 in the last three. Yes, the 197-yard outing two weeks ago throws that average off a bit, but he has had at least 85 yards each of the last three weeks, with two touchdowns. And he’s had catches of 46, 51, and 98 yards in that span. He at least seems like a viable play now. There, I said it. Maybe that’ll jinx him into sucking again.

Even scrap-heap pickup Chris Chambers managed to put up a 100-yard game for me this week.

The theme for my teams this week was leaving wide receiver points on the bench. In all, between my two teams, I left five 100-yard receiving games on the bench. After getting uneven play from the position throughout the season, the Outlaws of the Marsh had an unbelievable week from its wide receivers. All five of the team’s wideouts had either 100 yards or scored a touchdown. Normally, I would be kicking myself for leaving three 100-yard receivers (Derrick Mason, Mario Manningham, Chris Chambers) on the bench, but on Sunday, those were actually the three lowest scoring wideouts on the Outlaws’ roster as both starters, Jerricho Cotchery and Mike Sims-Walker, had more than 80 yards and a touchdown each. Throw in some balanced scoring up and down the lineup, and it was enough to give the Outlaws just under 100 points and a 19-point lead, with kicker Rob Bironas ready to chip in some more tonight. The Outlaws will improve to 8-3 and strengthen its grip on second place in the league.

My other team, The Thamesmen, also got plenty of production from its wide receiving corps but didn’t get the most out of it. The Thamesmen left Sims-Walker (91 yards, TD), Calvin Johnson (161 yards, TD), and Desean Jackson (107 yards, TD) on the bench in favor of Sidney Rice and Vincent Jackson. Rice paid off with 89 yards and a pair of TDs, but Jackson had his second straight subpar game, which presents a bit of a dilemma about whether to bench him in favor of one of the other guys even though he has been the best wideout on the Thamesmen this season. It’s a good thing Rice exploded, because everyone else in the starting lineup underperformed Sunday, from Tom Brady’s meager one TD pass to Adrian Peterson and Ray Rice combining for about 11 points — about half of their projections. Nonetheless, thanks to my opponent’s even more subpar day, I’ve already secured victory despite a pedestrian 73 points, which will move The Thamesmen’s to 9-2, firmly entrenched in first place.

Week 11 Highs and Lows

After catching a TD on Sunday, Chansi Stuckey is sacrificed to the football gods by the Browns offense in hopes of convincing them to let Cleveland play the Lions the rest of the season.

• It’s a bizarre week when Matthew Stafford and Brady Quinn outscore the likes of Tom Brady, Philip Rivers, and Peyton Manning — in fact, not just outscore, but completely outclass, at least in fantasy production. But that’s what happens when you get to play against Division II schools … I mean, the Browns and Lions. Thanksgiving came early for the immovable objects that are the Cleveland and Detroit offenses as they got to face each other’s defense, and the result was two stat lines that neither of these quarterbacks will likely see again: 422 yards, 5 TDs, 2 INTs for Stafford; 304 yards, 4 TDs for Quinn. Of course, considering that Stafford was owned in 13 percent of Yahoo! leagues and Quinn in only 5 percent, that’s a whole lot of points down the drain.
• Speaking of wasted QB production, who started Alex Smith (227 yards, 3 TDs, INT)? Of course, most of that came after the Packers jumped all over the 49ers. Speaking as a 49ers fan, I want Shaun Hill back.
• After a bit of a slow start to the season, Ryan Grant has been picking up steam. His 129-yard, 1-TD outing Sunday marked the third time in the last six weeks that he has put up double digit fantasy points. Of course, playing a softer schedule helps. Those three games came against the Browns, the Bucs, and the fading 49ers. Still, Grant has received more consistent carries since the team’s Week 5 bye, and he’s got another softy coming up this week in the Lions. Just be prepared for a dip in production when he goes up against the Ravens and Steelers after that.
• Hello, Terrell Owens. Where have you been all year? Oh right, stinking it up in the frozen hell of Buffalo like I knew you would. TO finally had a breakout game Sunday with 197 yards, including a 98-yard TD. If you’re kicking yourself for leaving those points on the bench, don’t. That’s as fluky as it gets, and he’ll go back to his usual three catches a game soon enough.
• Thanks to his team’s lackluster play, Vernon Davis has kind of flown under the radar a bit despite his stellar season. The 49ers tight end is on pace for more than 80 catches, just under 1,000 yards, and more impressively, almost 13 TDs. Those are Antonio Gates numbers back when Antonio Gates was actually getting end-zone love. And Davis has done it regardless of who’s at quarterback, and that’s a good thing considering who is at quarterback for the 49ers.

Since he’s a former Tar Heel, I’m required to like Madison Hedgecock. But if he dares to steal any more TD catches from their rightful owners …

• Anyone who owns Giants wide receivers must have thrown up their hands in disbelief over the fact that Eli Manning could break out of his slump Sunday and throw three TDs, and yet have none of those go to one of his wideouts. Instead, tight end Kevin Boss caught two and Madison Hedgecock — yes, former UNC fullback Madison Hedgecock, who had one career TD before Sunday! — caught the other.
• If you need help at quarterback, consider Matt Cassel, who is owned in just 47 percent of Yahoo! leagues. Aside from two inexplicable stinkers against the Raiders and a 3-INT game against the Chargers, he has actually been pretty good this year. It seems like 200-some yards and two TDs are about his upper limit, and he’s managed two TDs in five games this year. The downside is that he will put up an occasional stinker, and you really can’t predict when that’ll come, since he played well against the Steelers on Sunday and yet has put up ugly numbers in both games against the Raiders this season.

Let’s hope Jonathan Stewart’s pilfering of two touchdowns from DeAngelo Williams doesn’t help my opponent steal a win from me.

The outcomes of both of my games this week are hinging on tonight’s Ravens-Browns game, and they really shouldn’t, considering my teams went up against two opponents that are a combined 5-13. The Thamesmen’s opponent didn’t even bother to swap out his kicker, who’s on a bye, and his tight end, who’s on a bye and out for the season. Thanks in large part to that, The Thamesmen are up by 20 and still have Ray Rice left. That may usually seem like enough, but when your opponent has the Ravens defense going up against a hapless Browns team, you just can’t be certain. I would be breathing easier had Vincent Jackson not inexplicably put up a meager one catch or had Julius Peppers actually managed to do anything. Big games by Tom Brady (375 yards, 3 TDs), Sidney Rice (204 receiving yards), and Adrian Peterson (133 yards, 2 TDs) made up for that.

The action is much tighter for my other team, the Outlaws of the Marsh, who actually find themselves trailing by six points but still have Rice and Derrick Mason on deck, while my opponent only had a defensive lineman, Trevor Pryce, remaining. But again, when you are playing against the Browns, Pryce probably has as good a chance as any to find the end zone for a defensive touchdown. It didn’t help that my opponent’s Panthers running back (Jonathan Stewart) stole two touchdowns from my Panthers running back (DeAngelo Williams).

Week 10 Highs and Lows

• Wait, has the world gone topsy-turvy? We got competent quarterback play from Marc Bulger (298 yards, 2 TDs, INT) and Jake Delhomme (195 yards, 2 TDs) on the same day?! They must’ve performed some sort of voodoo ritual and transferred their suckitude to Jay Cutler, who threw five interceptions Sunday and has thrown nine of his 17 INTs on the season in just two games (Weeks 1 and 10).

Joseph Addai keeps piling up TDs, but it hasn’t done me much good.

• It kills me that I can’t find a spot in my starting lineup for Joseph Addai. He got two more touchdowns Sunday night despite having only 10 carries and two receptions. But he’s stuck behind Adrian Peterson and Ray Rice, both of whom regularly get more touches but not necessarily more points, than Addai. And of course, the one time I’m going to get the guts to bench one of those guys for Addai will be the game where his touchdown streak ends.
• It used to be that 96 yards and two TDs would be a routine game for LaDainian Tomlinson, but now it’s a cause for celebration. The fact that it came against an Eagles defense that’s usually stout against the run makes it even more impressive. Too bad it won’t last.

Why am I showing a Mike Tolbert touchdown? Because I couldn’t find a picture of an Antonio Gates touchdown.

• Antonio Gates is looking like this year’s version of last year’s Owen Daniels — a tight end who makes a lot of catches and gets a good amount of yards, but just can’t get any love near the end zone. Gates is on pace for almost 90 catches and 1,200 yards, both of which would be career highs. But he hasn’t found the end zone outside of the two he scored in Week 4. In fantasy football, that makes him less valuable than many other tight ends (who were drafted much lower) who don’t get anywhere near the touches but are more frequently targeted in the red zone.
• The Titans continued to roll with Vince Young at the helm, and that has brought good tidings for their kicker, Rob Bironas, who was one of the top kickers in the league last year but had been hampered by his offense’s woeful performances in the first six weeks this season. But he has scored in double figures each of the last three weeks. In those three games, he has attempted eight field goals (compared to nine in the first six games) and 12 extra points (after kicking only seven in the first six weeks). He probably got dropped in a lot of leagues after the slow start, and it might be a good idea to snatch him up now as the Titans don’t have a particularly tough schedule the rest of the way.

Mike Sims-Walker’s non-late-night-rendezvous Week 9 helped both of my fantasy teams.

With five weeks left before the fantasy football playoffs begin, both of my teams are starting to pick up some momentum and wins to make their postseason push. The Outlaws of the Marsh are sitting on a 29-point lead and have Rashard Mendenhall and James Harrison left in the Monday night game to counter the opponent’s Heath Miller, Brian Dawkins, and D.J. Williams, so barring any craziness, it’s looking like a win and a 6-3 mark that will move the Outlaws into a tie for second. The Outlaws benefited from a good game by Philip Rivers, who rebounded from a so-so performance the week before to throw three touchdowns, and continued strong play from the backfield tandem of DeAngelo Williams (149 rushing yards, 2 TDs) and Ray Rice (135 total yards, TD). And Mike Sims-Walker (6 catches, 147 yards, TD) actually managed to put up points this week and didn’t get suspended for a late rendezvous or stink it up against a bad defense or anything! It also helped a lot that my opponent inexplicably left Larry Fitzgerald (123 yards, 2 TDs) on the bench in favor of Desean Jackson.

In my other league, the Thamesmen got darn lucky as they are in position for a win despite scoring only 70 points. They hold an eight-point lead with James Harrison going up against Elvis Dumervil tonight. Hold on, and the Thamesmen will go to 7-2 and might strengthen its grip on first place, depending on what the second-place team does. Not bad, considering I was without Adrian Peterson (bye) and had the Bears defense (bye bye from my roster following its 0.98-point performance two weeks after putting up negative points). Sims-Walker and Rice did some damage for me in this league as well. Throw in a couple TDs from Vincent Jackson, and I just might have enough to hold on.

Week 9 Highs and Lows

Turns out that all the Titans needed to be a winning team was a quarterback who can throw for 100-some yards without turning the ball over. Enter Vince Young.

• Who are you guys and what have you done with the Titans? Whether it was the bye week or the quarterback change, Tennessee has looked like a different team on offense the last two weeks. After averaging 14 points in their first six games, the Titans have scored 30 or more in each of the last two, both with Vince Young at quarterback. Young hasn’t exactly torn it up, totaling only 297 yards passing with 1 TD in the two games. But he hasn’t turned the ball over, unlike his predecessor, Kerry Collins, who gave the ball away 10 times in the first six games. The biggest beneficiary has been Chris Johnson, who has tallied season highs in carries each of the last two games and totaled 363 rushing yards and four TDs in that span.
• Seven quarterbacks went over 300 yards passing Sunday, but it was actually a rather inefficient day for QBs. Matt Hasselbeck needed 51 passes to get his 329 yards, Peyton Manning needed 50 to reach 318, and Matt Schaub needed 43 to get to 311. The day’s yardage leader, Jay Cutler, chucked it 47 times for 369 yards, and Alex Smith and Matt Cassel couldn’t even get to 300 despite throwing 45 and 39 passes, respectively. Then there was woeful Lions rookie Matthew Stafford, who threw it 42 times, averaged less than 5 yards per attempt, and tossed five interceptions. Calvin Johnson should get used to sitting near the end of my bench the rest of the season.

You just became a real NFL running back again, Laurence Maroney. How does it feel?

• Could it be? Has Laurence Maroney finally returned from the fantasy football version of Siberia? After being virtually useless the last season and a half, Maroney has shown — gasp! — consistency the last three weeks, averaging 82 yards rushing and finding the end zone in each game. More encouragingly, the Patriots finally seem willing to give him consistent touches, as he has 49 carries in the last three games after getting only 22 in the previous five. The next question, of course, is how long this will last before the Patriots decide to go back to their running back roulette. At this point, though, Maroney is probably worth a flyer if you need some depth at running back.
• And now, our weekly gripe about the Saints backfield-by-committee: Actually, I have good things to say about one of their guys this week. Pierre Thomas found the end zone for the second straight week and has scored six TDs in six games this season despite being stuck in a platoon. That’s not surprising, though, considering he showed pretty much the same nose for the end zone last season, when he had more than 16 carries in a game only once, yet scored 12 touchdowns. That knack for scoring is what makes him a solid play despite having to split carries. It was kind of encouraging that he had 13 carries Sunday while Mike Bell, the other main ball carrier in the platoon, had just five.
• Want more proof that the Panthers can’t win with Jake Delhomme at quarterback? Look at Sunday’s game against the Saints. First quarter, Delhomme throws two passes, Panthers go up 14-0. Second quarter, Delhomme throws three passes, Panthers get outscored 6-3. Third quarter, Delhomme throws seven passes, Panthers get outscored 14-3. Fourth quarter, Delhomme throws 18 passes, Panthers get blanked 10-0 and lose 30-20. See a trend?

Julius Peppers’ big game helped The Thamesmen to a big lead Sunday.

A week after scoring 100 points and losing, the Outlaws of the Marsh took the reverse route to seeming defeat this week, putting up only 69.5 points thanks to a subpar game from Philip Rivers and a goose egg from Mike Sims-Walker. They lead by 1.5 points and have Roman Harper left in the Monday night game. But even in a league that awards a point a tackle, it’ll be hard to hold off John Carney. For the second week in a row, the Outlaws didn’t really leave much on the bench, as no one there had more than three points. So it’s looking like the Outlaws will drop to 4-4 and slide closer to the glut in the middle of the league. It’s a good thing that eight of the 12 teams in this league make the playoffs. (UPDATE: To my surprise, Harper actually outscored Carney on Monday night, lifting the Outlaws to a narrow victory. God, I love the 1-point-per-tackle scoring rule in this league!)

The picture is much rosier in my other league, as the Thamesmen are staked to a 26-point lead and put up more than 97 points before their quarterback, Matt Ryan, takes the field tonight. Getting 26 points from the Bears defense didn’t hurt, neither did Adrian Peterson’s continued strong play (97 yards, 1 TD) or a huge game by Julius Peppers (1 sack, 1 forced fumble, and 1 interception returned for a TD). The Thamesmen are on a roll, about to win their third straight to take sole possession of first place.

Week 8 Highs and Lows

• To harp some more on that two-catch, 9-yard effort by Sims-Walker on Sunday, it’s made even more frustrating by the fact that it came against the league’s worst defense, the Titans, who are 32nd in points allowed, 31st in yards allowed, and 32nd in passing yards allowed. They say good defense beats good offense, but apparently bad defense beats mediocre offense, too. No, I’m not bitter or anything.

This pretty much sums up Steven Jackson’s season: Him running through opposing defenses while the rest of his team is barely in the picture.
• His quarterback is a mess; his wide receivers are … well, he has no wide receivers; and his defense has given up more than 35 points in half of its games. Yet Steven Jackson (149 rushing yards, TD) somehow keeps piling up yards, going over 100 total yards in six of eight games this season. If he were on a team with a semblance of an offense, Jackson would probably be one of the top, if not the top, fantasy running backs. Unfortunately, he plays for the Rams and Sunday’s TD was his first this season.
• Speaking of the Rams-Lions game, it was another case of bad defense beating bad offense. The pitiful play of Lions QB Matthew Stafford against the usually pitiful Rams defense makes it seem increasingly hopeless for Calvin Johnson, whenever he does come back, to post any kind of consistent numbers this season. It’s tough to put up good stats when your worst nemesis is your own QB. If Johnson is Megatron, does that make Stafford Optimus Prime?
• I wrote a couple weeks back about Nate Burleson’ on-one-week-off-the-next pattern, and that continued Sunday. His receiving yards by week: 74, 46, 109, 31, 98, 40, 89. So, time to send him to the bench again this week, even if he is going up against the Lions.
• Hey Greg Jennings, where have you been the last five weeks? Sunday’s 88 yards were the most Jennings has put up since Week 3, and he got his first touchdown since the opening weekend.

For the Panthers, this is how it should be: Jake Delhomme doing little more than cheerleading in the background while a Panthers running back does something good.
• The Panthers might’ve finally realized what the rest of the world had known since Week 1: You can’t win games by letting Jake Delhomme throw the ball. Due in part to being knocked out in the third quarter, Delhomme finished with only 14 pass attempts — his fewest in a game this season. Not so coincidentally, the Panthers scored a season-high 34 points, powered by its backfield tandem of DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart. Delhomme’s replacement, Matt Moore, threw just one pass.
• LaDainian Tomlinson scored twice Sunday against the Raiders, but he’s still looking like he’s close to done. He managed only 56 yards, right around his average for the season, and managed just 3.1 yards a carry against an Oakland defense that’s 29th against the run and is allowing 4.5 yards per carry. The best that LT owners can hope for the rest of the way is that Tomlinson picks up some short-yardage touchdowns, because that’s about the only way he can put up solid fantasy numbers these days.

Antonio Bryant’s touchdown against the Patriots proved equally meaningless in real and fantasy football.

I went up against the league leader in both of my fantasy leagues this past weekend, scored more than 90 points in each league, and will probably come away 1-1. It’s kind of fitting, since this was a high-scoring week in real football as well, with eight of the 12 games seeing at least one team scoring more than 30 points, including three teams that went over 40.

The Outlaws of the Marsh have already been assured of a defeat despite scoring 100 points, but it’s the kind of loss I can live with: I made basically all the right lineup moves, scored a ton of points, and lost to a good team that scored just a bit more. I did leave Hakeem Nicks’ 10 points on the bench, but it won’t have made a difference, and the rest of the guys on my bench were all either on a bye week, injured, or Willie Parker, so I literally left nothing on the bench. I’m actually surprised to see my squad reach triple digits, considering half of my starting offense was on a bye. But I got a big game from Philip Rivers, a nice all-around effort by DeAngelo Williams, and even correctly guessed that this would be the week Antonio Bryant finds the end zone for a meaningless touchdown while his team gets stomped on.

In my other league, The Thamsmen are holding a 13-point lead and will try to hold off Brent Celek in the Monday night game to pull out a win over the leader in that league, who just so happens to be my wife. If it happens, the victory will be due in large part to her forgetting to swap out her kicker, who was on a bye this week. But hey, a win is a win. I got at least nine points from every offensive position except tight end, and another big game by Tom Brady helped me offset a -1.79 performance by the Bears defense (ouch!).

Week 7 Highs and Lows

Ryan Grant ran for 148 yards Sunday, but it came against the Browns, so it’s more like 80 yards, or, if you left him on your bench like I did, more like zero.

• Just to spite me, a week after I expressed my lack of enthusiasm for Ryan Grant’s performance this season, he explodes for 148 yards and a touchdown. Granted, it came against the lowly Browns, but this makes for back-to-back 90-plus-yard games for Grant, so maybe he’s turning the corner after all (of course, now that I’ve praised him, he’ll probably go back to averaging 2.5 yards a carry the rest of the season).
• A pair of unlikely 3-TD games Sunday: Ricky Williams and Vernon Davis (Davis’ trifecta is largely responsible for the Outlaws’ defeat this week).
• Week after week, you think, “There’s no way Hakeem Nicks can keep scoring a touchdown each week.” And week after week he does, or at least he has for the last four weeks since coming back from injury. The even better news is that he’s been getting into the action early, so it’s not just garbage-time points. If he’s flown under the radar so far in your league, he likely won’t anymore. Get him while you can, though the law of averages says his production will probably level off a bit, unless you are expecting him to finish with 13 touchdowns.

Joseph Addai embodies the difference between real football, where he’s consistently mediocre, and fantasy football, where he’s consistently solid.
• Another guy that seems to find the end zone every week: Joseph Addai. He’s got a mediocre 3.3 yards per carry and loses a fair number of touches to Donald Brown, yet he has proven to be a consistently solid contributor this season, thanks in large part to his nose for the end zone. He has scored a TD in five of the Colts’ six games, including the last four.
• This was a boom or bust week for NFL teams. Nine of the 24 teams that played Sunday scored at least 30, while six couldn’t break double figures, including a big zero from the Raiders. I guess it’s my good fortune that out of the 32 total points put up by those six teams Sunday, players on my fantasy teams accounted for 12 (TDs by DeAngelo Williams and Antonio Bryant).
• When the Saints score 46 points, you figure their strong running attack would rack up some good fantasy points, right? Well, let’s see: Mike Bell: 80 yards, 0 TD; Pierre Thomas: 44 yards, 0 TD; Reggie Bush: 26 yards, 1 TD. That’s a meager breakdown of about 5, 2, and 6 points, respectively. Thank you, backfield-by-committee. And to make matters worse, Drew Brees stole two touchdowns from the backfield with 1- and 2-yard runs. Ugh!

Tom Brady finally had his breakout game this year, and all it took was a little bit of snow and a lot of hapless Titans.

Nothing frustrates me than being on the wrong end of a ridiculous performance by a player, like the six Drew Brees TD passes in Week 1 or the nearly 300 yards and three TDs by Chris Johnson in Week 2. I can deal with being beaten by a team that gets scoring from everyone, but it’s agonizing to see an opponent bailed out by a once-in-a-lifetime performance by one guy. Well, it took six weeks, but I finally found myself as the beneficiary rather than the victim of one such performance yesterday. Tom Brady’s six TD passes (including five in the second quarter) took the Thamesmen from a close contest to a 32-point lead with Vincent Jackson and Antonio Gates yet to play, preventing me from agonizing over leaving Ray Rice’s big day (194 total yards, 2 TDs) and Adrian Peterson’s 143 yards on the bench (yes, I actually benched AP). In my other league, the Outlaws of the Marsh did start Rice and rode him and DeAngelo Williams (152 rushing yards, 2 TDs) to a huge week that has the team over 100 points already with Philip Rivers and Antonio Gates still on deck.

Week 6 Highs and Lows

• If Rice can actually get consistent goal-line carries, we might be making Marshall Faulk comparisons. That’s the last running back I can remember who has displayed the kind of versatility that Rice has this season, being on pace for about 1,100 yards rushing and more than 800 yards receiving. Rice is a reliable yardage guy every week; you just have to hope his recent penchant for long touchdowns continue, because the Ravens seem hellbent on yanking him for Willis McGahee whenever they sniff the end zone.
• I didn’t think Adrian Peterson would have a lot of success against the Ravens defense, which was why I benched him this week. Boy was I wrong. Baltimore’s D is suddenly looking mortal after giving up back-to-back 100-yard games to Cedric Benson and Peterson.

The Saints’ crowded backfield illustrates exactly why fantasy football leagues should consider switching from drafting individual running backs to drafting entire backfields.
• While Drew Brees (369 yards, 4 TDs) got back on track this week, the Saints’ backfield situation became messier. Pierre Thomas and Mike Bell each had 15 carries, with Thomas getting more yards but Bell getting the touchdown. Another perfectly good backfield thrown into fantasy uselessness by the platoon system.
• If his performance Sunday against Detroit is any indication, Ryan Grant isn’t about to break out of his mediocre performance so far this season. Normally, a 90-yard day is pretty solid, but consider that this came against a hapless Lions defense that’s giving up 4.6 yards a carry to its opponents, and it still took Grant 24 carries to get to that figure.
• Even when the Panthers win, Jake Delhomme can’t get it together. He managed only 65 yards passing Sunday, completed barely 50 percent of his passes, and threw two interceptions. He’s looking like a closer who has forgotten how to throw strikes. There’s no way the Panthers stick with him the rest of the way. No matter how bad their backup QBs might be, they can’t be much worse than what Delhomme has shown thus far.
• Torry Holt is quietly putting together a solid season through six weeks. He’s on pace for just over 1,000 yards receiving despite being the No. 2 wide receiver on a bad Jaguars team, and his 15.4 yards-per-catch average would be his highest since 2001. What’s missing, however, is the scoring, as he has yet to find the end zone this season.

Just when Mark Sanchez started thinking, “Hey, this NFL QB thing isn’t so hard,” reality hits.
• On a huge day for quarterbacks (eight 300-yard games, four guys with at least three TD passes), the Jets’ Mark Sanchez turned in a clunker: 10-for-29, 0 TDs, 5 interceptions. After a surprisingly solid start, the rookie is starting to look like, well, a rookie. He has only one TD pass and eight INTs in the last three weeks after compiling four TDs and only two INTs in the first three games.
• Amazingly, the Chiefs and Raiders played good defense against teams other than each other, holding the Redskins and Eagles to single digits. I expected such futility from the Redskins, but the Eagles’ meltdown just came out of nowhere. Maybe Philly decided to start their annual November-December funk early this year.

I managed a feat that few fantasy owners have achieved Sunday: From my four starting wide receivers (two in each of my two leagues), I got a total of 0.05 points. The main culprit for this display of futility was Mike Sims-Walker, whom I picked up as a free agent after his quiet but terrific start to the season. I plugged him into both of my teams’ starting lineups this week, and he promptly gets declared inactive for breaking team rules involving the team’s travel itinerary. Of course, the guys who actually played didn’t do much either: Derrick Mason was held without a catch, and DeSean Jackson managed a whopping 1 yard to keep my wide receiving corps from getting shut out this week. I did leave a few points on the bench, but not much as almost all of my regular starting wideouts were on their bye weeks.

Given that, it’s kind of amazing that I’m actually already assured of one win this week and might be able to pull out another if Yeremiah Bell has a big night tonight (not holding my breath). What really stinks about wide receivers’ performance (aside from said performance itself) is that I’m only down by about 5.5 points in the second league, and I would likely be assured of a win even if my wideouts just had your regular run-of-the-mill subpar outings instead of the spectacular FAIL this week.

Week 5 Highs and Lows

• You just have to wonder how well-entrenched Brady Quinn is in the Browns’ doghouse or whether Derek Anderson has pictures on Coach Eric Mangini. Anderson went 2-of-17 passing Sunday — 2-of-17!!! — and yet did not yanked.
• Just to add insult to injury over the matter of my wide receiver woes, the week I cut loose Nate Burleson is the week he goes for 98 yards and 2 TDs. Of course, that means it’s time to bench him, as he has alternated between good and bad weeks all season.

Next up: We dissect Cedric Benson’s surprise performance against the Ravens and its impact on marital bliss.
• When my wife was setting her lineup Sunday, I told her, “Bench Cedric Benson. He’s not going to do anything against the Ravens.” Well, 120 yards and a TD later, I’ve got some making up to do. But at least she’s already assured of an easy victory and on her way to 4-1 and being alone atop the league (in her first fantasy football season, with absolutely no prior knowledge of football).
• I wonder how many “Austin Power” headlines there were Sunday (as a former newspaper copy editor who has made his fair share of transgressions on that front, I’m hoping none). Of course there was the huge performance by the Cowboys’ Mike Austin (10 catches, 250 yards, 2 TDs), but don’t forget about the Colts’ Austin Collie (97 yards, 2 TDs), whose numbers have improved each of the last three weeks.
• Brett Favre have worked wonders for the Vikings offense, but not for Adrian Peterson owners (like myself). Since his 180-yard explosion in Week 1, AP has been more or less ordinary. He hasn’t cracked 100 yards in a game since, though he has scored in every week but one.

Up until Philip Rivers’ explosion late Sunday night, this space was earmarked for a “woe is me” rant about how one of my fantasy teams had the misfortune of going up against an opponent that got more than 39 points (39!) from the 49ers defense (and I’m a 49ers fan!). Three second-half touchdown passes by Rivers, including two to Antonio Gates, changed my fortunes substantially since Rivers is my QB in one league and Gates is my tight end in the other. As a result, I find myself comfortably ahead in both leagues heading into the Monday night game, and I’ll be pulling against the Packers’ passing game. The Outlaws of the Marsh are up by 39 and still have Vikings kicker Ryan Longwell to counter the opponent’s duo of Aaron Rodgers and Donald Driver. My other team, The Thamesmen, are up by 23 and still have Adrian Peterson and Mason Crosby while my opponent in that league has Rodgers and Greg Jennings. Barring some ridiculous performance, it looks like I’m in good position to go 2-0 this week.

Now then, back to ranting about the 49ers’ ridiculous defensive performance, which included three touchdowns, five sacks, one interception, and zero points allowed. I’m usually a pretty good sport about running into a defense that has one or two fluke scores, but three?!! But on this day, at least, I guess I can’t gripe too much about fluky defensive scores, as one of my teams benefited from one of those 49ers touchdowns — the interception return by Patrick Willis — while my other team got a not-too-shabby 17 points from the Bears defense, thanks in part to a 102-yard kickoff return by Johnny Knox.

Week 4 Highs and Lows

• Won’t you know it. The first week I bench Calvin Johnson is the week he goes over 100 yards, but he still couldn’t find the end zone and now his starting quarterback is out. But going from Matthew Stafford to Daunte Culpepper shouldn’t be too big a concern for Johnson. In the five games that Culpepper started last season, Johnson averaged 74 yards per game and had three touchdowns, and that was in a stretch in which the Lions played four straight against teams that finished with winning records, including three division winners. What is a definite concern, however, is the Lions’ opponent this week — the Steelers. The Chargers showed in the second half Sunday that you can throw the ball against Pittsburgh’s defense, but it’s doubtful the Lions can do the same, especially with Culpepper’s tendency to get sacked and fumble.

Rashard Mendenhall had 45 yards rushing on the season going into Sunday night and proceeded to run for almost four times that.

• Speaking of the Steelers, it looks like they’ve finally worked out the kinks in their running game, with Rashard Mendenhall coming out of nowhere to rumble for 163 yards and two TDs against the Chargers in place of the injured Willie Parker. Parker had just started getting going the previous week before a turf toe kept him out of this week’s action. It’ll be interesting to see how the Steelers handle the backfield. My guess: If Parker returns to health, we might be looking at another dreaded 60-40 split.
• Here’s a tip: Start any and all offensive players you have who are going up against the Lions, who are dead last in points given up and not so good in yardage allowed either. The Bears’ Matt Forte, who had been averaging just 50 yards a game and 2.5 yards a carry through three weeks, ran for 121 yards on just 12 attempts Sunday against Detroit.
• What’s gotten into Drew Brees? After throwing nine TD passes in the first two weeks (including six in Week 1 against me), he has been shut out in the last couple games, and the Saints’ scoring output has dipped by almost half. The good news is that the Saints’ running game continues to impress, no matter who’s carrying the ball.
• More and more, Eli Manning is showing that he’s locked in on Steve Smith, who caught 11 of Manning’s 20 completions Sunday. The Giants’ offense is clicking on all cylinders, but here’s the bad news if you don’t own Manning, Smith, or Brandon Jacobs: Those three guys get most of  the action early in the game for the Giants, and if New York goes up big early, as it has done lately, it’s content to rely on Jacobs and Ahmad Bradshaw to ground out the win, meaning other players are not likely to post big numbers unless they get it early.

Allowing Brandon Marshall to catch the pass was just the beginning of Dallas’ ineptitude on this TD play.

• I love LaDainian Tomlinson, but it’s looking more and more like the former all-world fantasy stud is about done. There was a lot of talk in the preseason about how he feels great after changing up his offseason training regiment. Let this be a lesson to you: In the preseason, every injury-prone player is completely healthy and every has-been is ready to bounce back. And then the season starts. I hope LT does bounce back, but with the injuries and unimpressive performances so far, it’s not looking good.
• A couple of fool’s gold performances by wide receivers from this week: Brandon Marshall had 91 yards and a TD, and Santana Moss had 74 yards and a TD. Until the Broncos’ last drive, Marshall had only three catches for 40 yards, about in line with what he has done so far this season. And then he caught a pass downfield and managed to weave through the entire Dallas defense for a 51-yard score. Chalk that one up to luck and a lot of bad pursue-and-tackle by the Cowboys. As for Moss, 59 of his 74 yards came on the touchdown play, and he had only one other reception. That has been a problem with Moss ever since he went to Washington. He does a lot with the catches he gets, but he just doesn’t seem to catch enough passes consistently.

“Hey Matt.” “Hey Tom.” “Should we have a good game for John today?” “Nah.” “Agreed.”

Fifty-some points were enough to earn the Thamesmen an ugly victory last week, but this week, they’re only enough for a likely ugly loss. I find myself trailing by about 15 points heading into the Monday night game, with only defensive players Bradie James and Julius Peppers left. If one of those guys finds the end zone or has a ridiculous game sack-wise, I might have a shot, but as of now, it’s looking like this low-scoring week is going to end in a well-deserved defeat, dropping me to 2-1. I left 40-some points on the bench this week in Tom Brady, Willie Parker, DeSean Jackson, and Donald Driver, while my starting lineup produced zero touchdowns. It was a tough decision starting Matt Ryan over Brady, and for most of the game, it seemed like it made little difference as neither put up big numbers. The Patriots’ last drive, however, yielded a Brady touchdown pass, sending me into a spiral of second-guessing. Well, at least Ryan is on a bye this week, so that makes my decision easy.

The picture is prettier in my other league, where the Outlaws of the Marsh have already clinched their first win of the season and will pile on DeAngelo Williams tonight just to rub it in. Shaking up the receiving corps seemed to help, as Jerricho Cotchery delivered a good game and Mario Manningham at least scored points for me, even though Derrick Mason promptly scored 11 points the moment I left him on the bench. I got a good effort from basically every one of my defensive players (and this is a league that awards one point per tackle). Ray Rice finally found the end zone for the first time this season, though Willis McGahee continues to plunder his rightful touchdowns. And even though I left Parker’s big game on the bench in this league as well, the fact that he looked down gives me some hope, especially with bye weeks coming up.

Week 3 Highs and Lows

I can’t tell you how wrong it is for the Lions to throw a touchdown pass to Johnson on Sunday and not have it be Calvin.

• I’m seriously considering doing the unthinkable — benching Calvin Johnson. I love the guy, and he’s no doubt a big-play threat. But with the Lions taking it easy on rookie QB Matthew Stafford, Johnson has been kept in check through three weeks. He’s getting only about 63 yards a game, has just one touchdown, and aside from a 64-yard grab in Week 1, he’s averaging a meager 10.5 yards per catch, and this is a guy who averaged 17 yards per grab last season. Until the Lions show that they trust Stafford to throw deep more often, Johnson’s numbers are probably going to be mediocre.
• Fred Taylor looked like he was washed up last season in Jacksonville, but his performance Sunday (21 carries, 105 yards, TD) showed otherwise. The Patriots are still a pass-first team (Brady threw 42 passes Sunday), but with Brady and the passing game bogging down in the red zone, a reliable running game just became more important. The other guys in the running back committee haven’t done much, so if Taylor keeps running the way he did Sunday, he should be rising to the top of the running back committee.

There are guys whom you root for them even if their good play delivers a blow to your fantasy team. Pierre Thomas is one of those guys for me.

• Mike Bell owners (such as myself) should be worried about their guy after the performance by the Saints’ Pierre Thomas on Sunday. Bell made the most of his opportunity when Thomas was out resting a knee injury, but now Bell is the one with the bum knee and Thomas ran for 126 yards on just 13 carries in his first game back, scoring twice, to stake a strong claim on the starting job. With Thomas performing well and so much depth in the backfield, the Saints are in no hurry to rush Bell back, and even when he returns, he might not get a lot of touches unless Thomas or Bush gets hurt. But after Thomas’ late-season surge helped me to a title last season, I really can’t wish the guy ill.
• After being held catchless the previous week, Greg Jennings caught only two passes this week … but one was for 53 yards, and the other for 50.
• The 49ers’ new offense is doing wonders for Vernon Davis, who is already almost halfway to his reception total last season. He had his best performance of the year so far on Sunday, catching seven passes for 96 yards and two TDs. In fact, tight ends have seemed to be more productive than usual through the first three weeks of this season. Could it be that you can now find usable tight ends not named Gates, Gonzalez, Witten, or Shockey?
• Through three games, Matt Forte is looking like he’s in for a sophomore slump. He was consistently productive as a rookie, but so far this season has averaged 2.5 yards per carry, hasn’t cracked 66 yards on the ground in any game, and has yet to reach the end zone. And it’s not like he’s not getting any touches. He’s averaging about 23 touches a game, about the same number he got last year. At least it’s a good sign that the Bears are still sticking with him despite his slow start.
• And finally, on a non-fantasy note, seeing that miraculous last-second touchdown pass by Brett Favre showed me that he’s still the same old Favre, at least in one way — he still knows how to sucker the 49ers into thinking they’re finally going to beat him, and then break their hearts with a ridiculous last-minute drive. As a 49ers fan, it brought back bad memories of playoff games in the late 90s when Favre pulled the same routine against San Francisco seemingly every postseason for a stretch of about four years. Now if the 49ers could only re-sign J.J. Stokes, the déjà vu would be complete.

Chris Johnson (front) runs away from the metaphor for my fantasy team that got trampled thanks to Chris Johnson.

Two weeks into the season and several trends are already emerging for me in one of my leagues: Leaving points on the bench, weak wide receivers, and running into great individual performances. In Week 1, I ran into the buzz saw that was Drew Brees as his six touchdowns left one of my teams, Outlaws of the Marsh, in the dust. In Week 2, the role of Outlaw-tamer was played by the Titans’ Chris Johnson, who racked up 284 all-purpose yards and three touchdowns. Add in the fact that I left 11 points by newly acquired Mike Bell on the bench and those meager four points I got from my wideouts — Derrick Mason and Nate Burleson — and it’s another stinker for the Outlaws.

Of course, the Outlaws’ mediocre 80-point performance was still leaps and bounds better than the 57 put up by my other squad, the Thamesmen. And guess which one of my teams is in position to pull out a win. My opponent still has Peyton Manning and a defensive player left, but I have a 27-point margin and a DB on my side. If you told me Tom Brady would give me less than four points this week, I would’ve packed it in. But somehow, despite the Cowboys and Giants combining for 64 points on Sunday night, my opponent’s tandem of Roy Williams and Brandon Jacobs combined for just over three points, leaving me in pretty decent shape, barring Manning going bonkers tonight. I guess my goal is to be this week’s equivalent of the Oakland Raiders, who beat the Chiefs despite mustering only 166 yards of offense.

Week 2 Highs and Lows

• One of the reasons for my teams’ low output this week was the meager eight carries for 36 yards by Ray Rice. I figured Rice might lose a few more touches to Willis McGahee (15-79, 2 TDs) this week since their opponent, the Chargers, looked vulnerable against the power running of Michael Bush in Week 1, but I was kind of expecting the number of carries to be flipped, especially after Rice’s impressive Week 1 showing. While Rice did pick up five catches for 46 yards, he’s starting to look like one of those guys who will end the year with a nice overall stats line but be an inconsistent fantasy contributor on a week-to-week basis.

When we talk about “standout wide receiver Steven Smith“, we might soon be talking about this guy instead of his Panthers counterpart.

• I wrote last week that you should keep an eye on the Giants’ wideout tandem of Steve Smith and Mario Manningham if you need help at that position, and they justified my faith this week. They combined for 20 catches (10 apiece) for 284 yards and each found the end zone once. Don’t expect quite those numbers every week, but they certainly look like they are playmakers, and Eli Manning has shown confidence in both.
• I wish I could say “I told you so” about Mike Bell’s emergence in New Orleans, but considering I left him on the bench myself this week … In any case, Bell showed that his Week 1 explosion was no fluke, rushing for 87 yards and a TD against the Eagles. Even more encouraging is the fact that he again got most of the carries. Reggie Bush hardly sniffed the ball in the ground game until Bell suffered a “slight knee sprain” late in the game. This shows that 1) the Saints have confidence in Bell, and 2) the Saints have no confidence in Bush as a ball carrier. Even if Bell is limited next week, if Pierre Thomas is ready to go, don’t expect Bush to get significantly more carries.
• A prime example of why fantasy football, or real football for that matter, is such a crapshoot from week to week: The Titans defense, which held the Super Bowl champion Steelers to 13 points in Week 1, gave up 34 on Sunday to the Texans, who could muster only seven in the first week. Matt Schaub, who could be a top-10 fantasy QB if he would just stay healthy, torched Tennessee for 357 yards and four TDs.
• While the Texans’ passing game looked to be in fine shape Sunday, their running game is a cause for concern. Through two games, Steve Slaton, who was supposed to be a solid fantasy back this year, has managed only 51 yards on the ground, averaged a paltry 2.0 yards per carry, and hasn’t found the end zone. For now, I’d say stay patient with him for now see if he shakes the rust.
• It’s early, and both of San Francisco’s games have been against teams in their own division — which might be the weakest in the NFL — but for the first time in years, I can say that my beloved 49ers are sitting atop their division. From a fantasy perspective, we see more signs that the 49ers’ offense is all about Frank Gore (207 rushing yards, 2 TDs on Sunday; 46 touches in two games), and their defense is much improved.
• I’ve been a big fan of Vincent Jackson since he came into the league, in part because the guy is a 6-foot-5, 230-pound wide receiver. After two weeks, he looks like he’s on pace for a breakout season. He’s caught a TD in each game, and he put up an impressive 149 yards on just six catches Sunday.

Hey Bears defense. Meet Greg Jennings. He’s the Packers’ No. 1 wide receiver. Maybe you should cover him next time.

Aaarg! Lambeau bleep!

That 50-yard touchdown pass from Aaron Rodgers to Greg Jennings with 1:24 left Sunday night didn’t just rally the Packers past the Bears, it also drove a stake through any chance the Outlaws of the Marsh had of pulling off a rally of its own tonight. My team was trailing by somewhere in the teens late Sunday night, but I figured that’s a manageable deficit since I still have Philip Rivers and Antonio Gates going tonight while my opponent only has Vincent Jackson. And then, I heard the announcers going crazy on TV and the sense of dread came over me. One quick look on the Yahoo! live update confirmed my worst fears: The Bears had just somehow allowed the Packers’ best offensive weapon to run untouched past its entire secondary for a score that counted for at least eight points in fantasy football. When all the damage was tallied up, I found myself trailing by 28, giving me virtually no shot at a comeback tonight.

SIX touchdown passes, Drew? How very nice for you.

Of course, I guess I can’t solely blame Greg Jennings for the debacle. I did leave Julius Jones’ 117 rushing yards and TD on the bench (but c’mon, it’s Julius Jones!), and my starting wide receiver tandem of Antonio Bryant and Eddie Royal combined for a whopping 47 yards, or good for exactly one point. My double-tight end set didn’t exactly work out either, as Dallas Clark managed only one point. Throw in a subpar day from DeAngelo Williams and two TDs usurped from Ray Rice (107 yards but no scores), and it’s a bit of a miracle that I can potentially approach 90 points this week. Oh, and did I mention my opponent had Drew Brees (6 TDs)?

Things went better in my other league, as the Thamesmen have a comfortable 23-point lead and plenty of firepower left tonight in Tom Brady, Vincent Jackson, and Antonio Gates. My opponent has LaDainian Tomlinson, Terrell Owens, Nate Kaeding, and a defensive back left, but I think I’ve got enough to hold on, barring a complete meltdown by the Patriots and Chargers offenses.

Highs and Lows from the Weekend

• There was talk in the preseason comparing Eddie Royal to Wes Welker. Well, if Royal is to match Welker’s 100-plus receptions from last season, he’s got some work left to do after Sunday’s meager two-catch performance. With Brandon Marshall back in the lineup, at least for now, and Kyle Orton not being able to do anything until the final seconds against the juggernaut defense that is the Cincinnati Bengals, Royal’s stock is slipping fast.
• Mike Bell had more yards rushing (143) than everybody not named Adrian Peterson. Is Bell for real? Well, Pierre Thomas, whom I’m a big fan of, was out nursing a knee injury. So when he gets back, the Saints backfield will be awfully crowded. However, it was encouraging to see Bell get 28 carries and Reggie Bush only seven, and since a backup kicker is all I had to give up to open up a roster spot for Bell, I’ve acquired his services in both of my leagues.
• Need some receiving help (I sure do)? There were some unlikely sources of productive numbers on Sunday. The Bucs’ Michael Clayton (5 catches, 93 yards) had his best game since 2004, his rookie season, while the Ravens’ Mark Clayton (5-77, TD) also had a good outing, albeit against the Chiefs, who are already looking hapless one week into the season. Of the Claytons, I would favor Mark over Michael, who has been a big flop since his rookie year. But the guys I would keep an eye on are the Giants’ tandem of Steve Smith and Mario Manningham. They both made some nice plays and put up solid numbers against the Redskins, and hey, somebody has to be the Giants’ go-to receiver.
• I smell a running back situation brewing in Pittsburgh. Willie Parker, a disappointment last season, tanked again in the season opener, mustering 19 yards on 13 carries. He played less and less as the game went on, giving way to Mewelde Moore, who’s a better receiver. Here’s hoping I’m wrong, since Parker is on my team.
• Here’s why Frank Gore’s 30-yard performance on Sunday was encouraging: He got 22 carries despite not doing much with them, and the 49ers were trailing most of the game and still did not abandon the run.
• There were a lot of solid performances from tight ends this weekend, and not just from the big names. See John Carlson (6-95, 2 TDs), Dustin Keller (4-94), Todd Heap (5-74, TD), Heath Miller (8-64), and Kevin Boss (3-62). And oh yeah, there are the usual suspects: Tony Gonzalez (5-73, TD), Jason Witten (5-71), Chris Cooley (7-61, TD), and welcome back Jeremy Shockey (4-31, 2 TDs).

I’ve won the lottery for Adrian Peterson. Now let’s hope he delivers as expected.

Taking Adrian Peterson at No. 1 was obviously a no-brainer. I’ll admit that I’ve always had a soft spot in my heart for Maurice Jones-Drew, but Peterson just seems to be more of a sure thing. Then I was able to get top-notch players at QB and WR with back-to-back picks, grabbing Tom Brady and Calvin Johnson. I felt like it was important to get a top-level player at QB, RB, and WR rather than load up on RBs, which I usually do, because in this league you only have to start one RB, and being an eight-team league, there’s plenty of depth out there in the free-agent market. I’ve loaded up on RBs in this league before, yet always seem to be missing one more big weapon at either QB or WR come playoff time. And of course, I snagged a couple of my old favorites, Antonio Gates and James Harrison.

There are always a couple players that I just have a good feeling about every preseason, and I always seem to end up with them in every fantasy league I play in. This year, that guy is Ray Rice, who just seemed like too good a bargain in the mid-teen rounds to pass up. And after beating myself up on chickening out at the last second and missing out on Joseph Addai in my other league’s draft, I wasn’t about to make the same mistake again, even if it meant possibly drafting him earlier than I should have.

Looking at this team, I feel good about the players and the depth I have. Then again, I always end up with a ton of depth in this league. The problem I usually have is that I have roster-management issues and always seem to start the wrong guys on the wrong weeks. Maybe I’ll package a few of these guys later in the season and trade for another top-notch player.

When it comes to fantasy football drafts, I would rather be at the front or the back of the order, but I ended up in the dreaded middle yesterday, picking seventh in a league of 12 teams. I did end up with DeAngelo Williams, who heroically powered my late-season surge and championship run in this league last year, and snagged Philip Rivers in the second round. I didn’t get in on the run for top wide receivers, however, and instead opted for Antonio Gates in the third round because I always try to snag one of the top three or four tight ends since the rest of the bunch are pretty worthless. Besides, it gave me a Rivers-to-Gates combo.

If Antonio Bryant delivers like he did last season, then I’ll rest easy. If not (and if Joseph Addai returns to his Pro Bowl form), I’ll be kicking myself for my fourth-round folly.

Then came the pick that I probably regret the most. In the fourth round, I had Joseph Addai in my sights, but I was a bit worried that almost all of the top wideouts were already off the boards without me having filled any one of my WR spots. I had actually written down Addai as a pick to look at around this position since  I figured he would be good value even though the Colts probably still have issues on the offensive line. In the final seconds, I chickened out and picked Antonio Bryant instead, and almost immediately regretted it. The team behind me scooped Addai right up. So I ended up with a starting backfield of Williams and Willie Parker, which doesn’t look anywhere as good as Williams and Addai. Oh well.

Still smarting from letting Addai slip through my hands, I came back in the fifth round and made a pick that could either make me look like a genius or an idiot: Dallas Clark. My thinking was that basically all the good RBs were off the board by that time, and there were still plenty of middling WRs left. So Clark had the most value. Besides, he’d be insurance if Gates doesn’t bounce back from last year’s subpar performance. So at least for now, I’m looking at starting a double-tight end formation, which I’ve actually tried before, with mediocre results.

I was, however, very pleased with my defensive picks, which are actually quite important in this league since the league’s scoring system awards one point per solo tackle, so some of your standout linebackers are actually worth more than a lot of offensive players. I managed to pick up James Harrison and Patrick Willis, two of my favorite defensive players the last couple seasons and the second- and third-highest scoring defenders in this league last season, respectively. And as much as I dread having to start defensive linemen, I guess the 2008 league leader in sacks, John Abraham, is as good a pickup as any. And Roman Harper and D’Qwell Jackson both pile up a decent number of tackles at defensive back and linebacker. Best of all, I managed to put together a defensive lineup that has no more than one player on bye in any week, minimizing the bye-week headaches on that side of the ball.

I like Dallas Clark, but I might like him a lot less if he gives me as many headaches about my lineup this season as I envision.

Looking at the offense, Rivers, Williams, and Gates better come through for me this season, as the rest of the lineup is a bit shaky. And whether or not to start Clark at W/R/T instead of one of the other guys on the bench is going to be weekly struggle for me, so much so that I might look into trading Clark or Gates at some point if I can get good value in return. The one guy I am kind of excited about is Ray Rice, who might have a breakout season in the Ravens’ backfield, which would strengthen my lineup immensely. I do have depth at WR, but it’s made up of guys that are in that middle level where you don’t feel confident starting them every week, so you end up missing out on most of their production even as they finish with a nice looking line for the season. And yes, if Rivers goes down, my season is toast. I love Shaun Hill, but I don’t see him putting up big numbers this year with the 49ers looking like they are going conservative with the offense. However, he was a starter for me down the stretch last season on my way to the title, so if nothing else, he’s at least a good luck charm. Of course, if you had told me after last year’s draft that I would be starting Shaun Hill and Matt Schaub in the final weeks of the season, I would’ve never imagined that I would be playing in the championship game.

One draft down, one more to go.

DeAngelo Williams, my hero and my tormentor from last season. And hopefully my starting running back in 2009.

It’s getting close to that wonderful time of the year again — the NFL season is right around the corner, and that means fantasy football and the return of Monday Morning H-Back, the weekly feature on this blog where I complain about my excruciating stat-watching experiences from the day before. I’ve rejoined both Yahoo! leagues I was in last year. Draft day is in three weeks, so I better start scouting.

But first things first: There’s unfinished business from last season. It seems that after griping on Monday Morning H-Back every week during last season, I neglected to actually write about the final playoff games in my leagues, mainly because I was in the middle of traveling all around China at the time. So here it is:

Basically my fortunes in the two leagues hinged on the same player: Panthers running back DeAngelo Williams, who had a breakout season in 2008 and was one of the top fantasy players in the NFL. In one league, I loaded up on running backs in the draft and cut Williams a few weeks into the season (it seemed like nothing at the time). Nothing really went right after that, as injuries to my backfield, disappointing seasons, and poor personnel management prevented my squad from building much momentum. I mustered enough points to claim the fourth and final playoff spot with a 7-7 record, then got promptly drubbed in the first round by the eventual league champion, who, aptly enough, picked up Williams after I cut him.

The script was basically flipped for my other league. I couldn’t make the live draft for that league, so I just set my player rankings for the autodraft. In what I thought was a stroke of genius, I moved all the defensive players and kickers into the “Do Not Draft” list, thinking that will make the computer fill all my spots with offensive players, and I can just drop some later to fill out my defensive starters. Well, the computer did fill all my spots with offensive players, with just one catch: After drafting enough players to fill my offensive starting lineup, it proceeded to fill all the other roster spots with backup quarterbacks. Imagine how pleased I was when I checked the draft results and saw that I had these fantasy studs on my roster: Billy Volek, Matt Gutierrez, J.T. O’Sullivan, Bruce Gradkowski, Charlie Batch, Jim Sorgi, Kerry Collins, and Matt Cassel (who would’ve actually been a good pick, had I known at the time that Tom Brady was going to blow out his knee 30 seconds into the season).

Yes, I started J.T. O’Sullivan last season. And yes, the results were as ugly as this picture makes it seem.

A flurry of waiver claims followed, and I actually started the season 3-1 despite the meltdown of my projected starting QB, Marc Bulger. My team started to waver, however, as my problems at, ironically, quarterback started to catch up with me. I seemingly started a new QB every week. Heck, I used two (TWO!) 49ers quarterbacks. Meanwhile, my running backs roulette was equally pathetic — Laurence Maroney, Fred Taylor, Jonathan Stewart (before his late-season roll), Cedric Benson (oh for the love of god in the name of all that’s holy!). The only things keeping my team afloat above .500 were my solid receiving corps and a league scoring system that awards a point per tackle for individual defensive players.

That changed when I engineered a Vincent Jackson-for-DeAngelo Williams trade, just before Williams went on his tear. The addition of Williams, coupled with the return to health of Andre Johnson, gave my team new life. I even found a couple quarterbacks who could put up positive points in Shaun Hill and Matt Schaub. That group carried me to five straight impressive wins to close out the regular season and a bruising run through the playoffs to capture an unlikely title.

Anyway, so much for past laurels. A new season is at hand, and I admit I’ve not kept up too much with the NFL in the off-season. For instance, I didn’t even know Tony Gonzalez is now a Falcon. What’s next? Jay Cutler leaving the Broncos? Ha! And I’m actually going to be acting commissioner for one of the leagues this year, relieving one of my friends who’s apparently too busy with a baby on the way that he won’t have time for fantasy football (talk about having the wrong priorities). So strap yourself in for another season of Monday Morning H-Back.