The traffic in Beijing was glutted and chaotic.

After a hectic couple days getting to Beijing, we finally settled down to a … well, hectic day of seeing Beijing. Our group tour kicked off today, and we hit up some of the biggest attractions in the city — Tiananmen Square, the Forbidden City, and the Temple of Heaven. We spent half the day on our feet and the other half on the edge of our seats as our bus driver manuvered through Beijing traffic, which puts to shame whatever traffic patterns that any American metropolitan city might try to call chaos. Time after time, our bus narrowly missed collisions with cars, other buses, bicycles, pedestrians, or standing structures, and all parties involved just acted like it was normal.

There didn’t seem to be many traffic rules, which is compounded by the immense number of vehicles and people sharing, or fighting for, the streets. In theory, you drive on the right side of road here, but in practice drivers just take whatever lane is open. More than once, I looked up ahead on a two-lane road and saw oncoming traffic swerving into our lane to pass a parked car. Bicycles seem to just go whichever direction they please, as I saw numerous bikes going down supposed one-ways. As for pedestrians, there are plenty of them, but it’s pretty much walk-at-your-own-risk. If a driver sees a pedestrian crossing the street in front of him, he’ll honk a few times without slowing down. Even when there are pedestrian traffic lights, drivers making right turns don’t seem to really care. There are yield signs on the interstate, but “right of way” is a foreign concept here.

Tiananmen Square

Forbidden City

As for the portion of the day when we were on our feet, the sights were outstanding. We went first to Tiananmen Square, the size of which is truly awe-inspiring. Next came the Forbidden City, which we pretty much dashed through because it was so big and we could only see so much in the time we had. We basically made a straight line through the Forbidden City, and it took about an hour and a half. I could, and would, literally spend a whole day there, exploring all the little nooks and crannies.

Temple of Heaven

After lunch, we visited the Temple of Heaven, which actually includes three sections spread over an immense grounds. First came a huge altar for making sacrifices to the god of heaven, followed by a small pavilion before you get to the iconic building that is traditionally referred to when people say “Temple of Heaven”. As with many sights in Beijing, the scale and craftsmanship of each of these sections were amazing.

After the Temple of Heaven, we were taken to a famous traditional Chinese pharmacy, where we received a brief introduction on Chinese medicine, during which the speaker, one of the pharmacists there, pretty much put down Western medicine at every turn. After her talk, they brought in a few of the traditional Chinese medicine doctors there to give members of the tour group checkups the Chinese way — checking your pulse, your tongue, the color of your face, and the smell of your breath. Then they would try to prescribe medicine for whatever ailments they say you might have and try to get you to buy it, which we did not. The best part came next — masseuses came in to perform neck, shoulder, and back massages. Courtney and I each received one, and it worked wonders for my shoulders, which are always tense and tight, thanks to hours sitting in front of the computer each day, working and blogging. The massages were about 10-15 minutes long, and they cost all of 10 yuans apiece — or less than $1.50.

We closed the day with what we were told was a Kung Fu performance. Turns out it was more like a performance based on Kung Fu. Instead of watching martial arts experts take on each other with bare fists and various weapons, we were subjected to a Vegas-style show with more flash than substance. There was a little kid singing, long segments of interpretive dance, and plenty of fake weapons that looked and sounded like tin foil. There were some parts employing elements of traditional Kung Fu shows, such as guys breaking metal pipes on their heads or having concrete slabs smashed to bits on their chests while lying on beds of nail. However, the rest of the performance was so fake that you can’t really believe that those traditional elements were real. It was basically an amalgam of American stereotypes about Kung Fu accompaned by a dance show. It’s good and sad at the same time to see that China has finally caught up to the Western world by developing the ability to produce gawdy shows that would fit perfectly on any stage in Vegas or Reno (and in fact, as we later found out, this show did do a stint in Reno).